What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

What was your first impression of The Carter V by Lil Wayne? Did it feel like 2008 Wayne, when you heard the first few songs.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Where is best free porn?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why did the UK Supreme Court rule that transgender women are not women?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

This Philosophy Quiz Will Prove Whether You're Actually Smart Or Just Pretending - BuzzFeed

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

What happened to your school bully?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

During the Atlmark incident in 1940, the Brit war criminals violated Norwegian neutrality. Hitler could then justify invading Norway. Have the Brits ever apologized for violating Norwegian neutrality?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Can a cop pull you over walking home asking why you are out so late?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Why do some children hate their parents?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

TEXT:

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Are there really people who still believe the Earth is flat?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Why is blood sugar ranging from 70-180 in a day and checked through a glucometer?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

My Husband Drinks a Pot of Coffee a Day—So I Asked the Experts If That's Safe - EatingWell

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.